搞笑短信专集21

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BEIJING, Feb. 11 (Xinhua) -- The Communist Party chief of China's Health Ministry has been replaced, the ministry's official website said Wednesday.     The post of secretary of the ministry's leading Party members' group, formerly held by Gao Qiang, 65, was taken over by Zhang Mao,55.     The website didn't give a reason for the change, only saying that the central government made the decision out of "work necessity and prudent study."     Zhang, from east China's Shandong Province, had been vice mayor of Beijing and vice minister of the National Development and Reform Commission previously, during which time he was in charge of health system reform work, the website said.     Gao had been vice finance minister and deputy secretary-general of the State Council (Cabinet). He was appointed Party chief and vice minister of the Health Ministry during the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) outbreak in 2003 after former health minister Zhang Wenkang was sacked over the crisis. Gao became minister in April 2005.     In June 2007, Gao's post of health minister was taken by Chen Zhu, who is not a member of the Communist Party of China. He then began to act as the vice minister and remained the Party chief.

BEIJING, Feb. 9 (Xinhua) -- Chinese Vice Premier Li Keqiang said Monday that employment and people's livelihood should be guaranteed.     Li, also a member of the Standing Committee of the Political Bureau of the Communist Party of China Central Committee, made the remarks when visiting the southern Guangdong Province, a major base for export-oriented manufacturers that had provided jobs for many migrant workers.     Li highlighted the importance of providing stable job opportunities, asking local governments to make every effort to support steady production of manufacturers and thus ensure employment.     Professional training and employment guidance should be given to job seekers, especially migrant workers, to help them maintain their incomes, said Li.     He also urged local authorities to strengthen support to enterprises and help them develop new markets and upgrade their technology.Chinese Vice Premier Li Keqiang (2nd L, front), who is also a member of the Standing Committee of the Political Bureau of the Communist Party of China Central Committee, visits Yantian Port in Shenzhen, south China's Guangdong Province, Feb. 7, 2009. Li Keqiang paid a visit to Guangdong Province from Feb. 6 through 9.

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BEIJING, April 8 (Xinhua) -- Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao has stressed that "supervision" is one of the key missions in 2009 for government organizations to tackle corruption amid the economic crisis, according to Wen's speech script released Wednesday by the State Council.     "The impact of the global economic crisis was still amplifying. Companies' profits shrinking, financial income reducing, job situation worsening... Under such circumstances, it's of great importance for government organizations to reform and tackle any kind of corruption," Wen said.     Wen said this year supervision would be focused on whether government officials' work was quick and effective, policies and regulations practised properly, projects carried out scientifically, funds used reasonably among others.     He said any kind of fund misappropriation, unqualified buildings and other problems which closely affected people's livelihood should be strictly prevented.     Also, Wen stressed supervision in food and drug industry to avoid any safety issues involving unapproved food additives and fake and unqualified medicines.     Wen initially made those remarks at a conference on clean governance here on March 24. The highlights for his speech on that day were released Wednesday by the State Council.     Wen ordered at the conference that Party and government organizations at all levels should reduce reception expenditures this year by 10 percent over 2008, cut car purchase and maintenance fees by 15 percent on the basis of the average amount in the recent three years, and reduce expenditure for business trips abroad by 20 percent based on the average amount over the past three years.     Wen said, this year efforts will be focused on investigation and handling of corruption cases involving government organs and officials, and hard strikes will be made in cases of "collusion between officials and businesses, power-for-money deals and commercial bribery cases."     He urged tougher scrutiny over funds and projects that were closely related to people's livelihoods, such as medical insurance in rural areas, pensions, payment in arrears for migrant workers, water conservation, railroads and other forms of transportation, and urban construction.     Individuals or groups should be severely punished for making defective or harmful farm products or imposing unreasonable charges on farmers, students and patients, he said.     Wen praised the anti-corruption progress made by various government officials last year, especially in supervising and managing relief funds for the May 12 earthquake and the post-quake construction.     "Only by building a clean and efficient government can we unite everyone as an entire force to cope with the crisis and get over it," he added.     Last year, China investigated 2,687 government officials for graft, malfeasance and infringement of people's rights. Those included four people at the province or ministry level, according to a report delivered by Prosecutor-General Cao Jianming in earlier March.     Also, the government investigated 10,315 cases of commercial bribery cases committed by government workers, involving a total sum of more than 2.1 billion yuan (309 million U.S. dollars).

BEIJING, March 7 (Xinhua) -- China should speed up reforming its financial system to make the yuan an international currency, said political advisors Saturday.     "A significant inspiration to draw from the global financial crisis is that we must play an active role in the reconstruction of the international financial order," said Peter Kwong Ching Woo, chairman of the Hong Kong-based Wharf (Holdings) Limited.     The key to financial reform is to make the yuan an international currency, said Woo in a speech to the Second Session of the 11th National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC), the country's top political advisory body.     That means using the Chinese currency to settle international trade payments, allowing the yuan freely convertible on the capital account and making it an international reserve currency, he said.     China's yuan, or Renminbi, can be freely convertible on the current account but not on the capital account, preventing it from being a reserve currency or a choice in international trade settlement.     China has announced trial programs to settle trade in the yuan, a move analysts say will facilitate foreign trade as Chinese exporters might face losses if they continue to be paid in the U.S. dollar. The dollar's exchange rate has become more volatile since the global financial crisis.     Economists say the move will increase the acceptance of the currency in Asia, which will help it become an international currency in the long run.     The status of the yuan as an international currency will benefit China by giving it a bigger say in world financial issues and reducing the reliance of its huge foreign reserves on the U.S. dollar, some analysts say.     Other analysts argue a fully convertible yuan will hurt China as it would allow massive capital outflow during a financial crisis.     Meanwhile, Chinese authorities remain cautious.     It's possible that the global financial crisis will facilitate the process of making the yuan internationally accepted, but there's no need to push for that, Yi Gang, vice central bank governor, told Xinhua earlier this month.     That process should be conducive to all sides, he said.     Xu Shanda, former vice director of the State Administration of Taxation and a CPPCC National Committee member, urged for faster paces in making the yuan an international currency as a way of increasing national wealth.     He said the United States and the European Union have obtained hefty royalties from the international use of their currencies while China has become the biggest source of that income.     A royalty, or seignior age, results from the difference between the cost of printing currency and the face value of the money.     "China's loss due to royalty payment has far exceeded the benefit of not making the yuan an international currency," he said in a speech to the annual session of the CPPCC National Committee, without elaborating.     China's State Council, or Cabinet, said last December it would allow the yuan to be used for settlement between the country's two economic powerhouses -- Guangdong Province and the Yangtze River Delta -- and the special administrative regions of Hong Kong and Macao.     Meanwhile, exporters in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region and Yunnan Province will be allowed to use Renminbi to settle trade payments with ASEAN (Association of Southeast Asian Nations) members.

MEDELLIN, Colombia, March 29 (Xinhua) -- China's membership in the Inter-American Development Bank (IDB) will broaden cooperation between China and Latin America, China's central bank governor Zhou Xiaochuan said here Saturday.     Closer bilateral cooperation will enhance their ability to jointly tackle the ongoing financial crisis, Zhou told an IDB meeting in Medellin. Chinese Central Bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan attends the Inter-American Development Bank (IDB) meeting in Medellin, Colombia, March 28, 2009. Zhou on Saturday urged for international financial reforms in the face of the global economic downturn. He added that China, as a new member, is willing to share development experience and enhance trade relations with Latin America.     South-South cooperation is all the more important amid the current financial crisis, and China will expand its trade with and increase its investment in Latin American countries after it joined the IDB, he said.     Two-way trade between China and Latin America has grown at an average annual rate of 40 percent in recent years, hitting a record high of 143.3 billion U.S. dollars in 2008.     China joined the IDB as its 48th member country in January this year. Zhou is here for the 50th annual meeting of the IDB, scheduled for March 27-31 in the Colombian city of Medellin.     The IDB group, founded in 1959 and headquartered in Washington D.C., is the oldest and largest regional inter-governmental development financial institution. It is aimed to promote economic and social development in Latin America and the Caribbean.

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BEIJING, Feb. 8 (Xinhua) -- Irrigation has covered 52.7 percent of the wheat farmland in drought-hit provinces in China by Saturday, said the Ministry of Agriculture.     A total of 85 million mu (about 5.67 hectares) of wheat land have been irrigated in eight drought-stricken provincial regions, the ministry told a meeting on Sunday.     Minister Sun Zhengcai said it is of importance to fully use machines in the fight against drought. People irrigate a wheat field in Laocheng Township of Changge County, central China's Henan Province, Feb. 3, 2009. Henan, one of China's key wheat producing regions, has suffered from drought since Oct. 24, 2008. Some 2.9 million hectares of farmland in Henan were affected    He asked local governments to increase subsidies for farmers to buy more irrigation-related and water-saving equipments, and make every effort to expand the irrigation coverage and save water.     By Saturday, 152 million mu of wheat farmland, which accounted for 95 percent of the drought-stricken crops in China, was affected in eight provincial regions including Hebei, Shanxi, Anhui, Jiangsu, Henan, Shandong, Shaanxi and Gansu.     Rain and snow from Friday to Sunday in the southeastern part of northwest China and the southwestern part of north China has reduced the area of drought-affected farmland by 20 million mu.     China experienced the most severe drought for decades. As of Saturday, 299 million mu of crops, 4.42 million people and 2.2 million heads of livestock were affected.     The crops affected was 110 million mu more than the average level during the same period in past years.     During a visit to central China's drought-hit Henan Province on Saturday and Sunday, Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao has urged officials in drought-hit areas to place "top priority" on relief work as agricultural stability concerns China's bid to revive its economy.     China has declared the highest level of emergency in response to the drought, employing artificial means to induce rains and allocating 86.7 billion yuan (about 12.69 billion U.S. dollars) as subsidies to farmers.     In addition, the central government has decided to earmark 400 million yuan to local governments for drought relief.

BEIJING, Feb. 6 (Xinhua) -- The worst drought in half a century in northern China will continue until next month, although it will be eased slightly by rainfall forecasted for the next ten days, according to the China Meteorological Administration (CMA) on Friday.     In March, rainfall in most parts of the wheat-growing areas in northern China is expected to be slightly less or close to normal. However, the wheat crops in Hebei, Shanxi, Shaanxi, Shandong, Henan and Anhui will continue to suffer, said Xiao Ziniu, director of the National Climate Center (NCC) under the CMA said at a videoconference. Workers of a power company help a farmer to irrigate the field in Wuhe County, east China's Anhui Province, Feb. 5, 2009. China raised the drought emergency class Thursday from level two to level one, the highest alert, in response to the worst drought to hit northern China in half a century, according to a State Council meeting.China declared the highest level of emergency on Thursday in response to the rare drought which began in November. President Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao have ordered all-out efforts to combat the severe drought in the country's vast wheat-growing area to ensure a good summer harvest.     About half of the total, or 78.77 million mu (5.25 million hectares) of the affected wheat lands have been irrigated in the nation's eight wheat-growing provinces as of Feb. 5, according to data released by the Ministry of Agriculture (MOA) on Friday. Soldiers of armed police force help a farmer to irrigate his field in Huainan, east China's Anhui Province, Feb. 5, 2009. The ministry said it would offer farmers subsidies on irrigation equipment purchase to aid the relief work. Prices of the facilities should not be higher than the market price for last year.     Buying water pump and the watering machinery will be subsidized to meet the urgent demand of the anti-drought effort, said an official with the ministry, stressing that the product quality should be insured.     The area of affected crops has expanded to 161 million mu by Feb. 6. 4.37 million people and 2.1 million livestock are facing drinking water shortage, according to data released by the Office of State Flood Control and Drought Relief Headquarters. People barrel drinking water supplied by the local government at Chengguan Township in Ruyang County of Luoyang City, central China's Henan Province, Feb. 4, 2009. The city had received a reduced effective rainfall since October 2008, almost 80 percent less than in the same period of previous years. The local government has allocated some 25 million yuan (3.65 million U.S. dollars) for drought relief and crops protectionThe scarcity of rain in some parts of the north and central provinces is the worst in recorded history, as the drought spanned from autumn to winter -- a weather trend not witnessed in years, according to Sun Zhengcai, the Minister of Agriculture. The situation in some areas is extremely severe, he said.     Lack of rain has created a layer of three-to-ten-centimeter of dry soil in many parts of northern China, Sun said.     As the drought will not be relieved in the short-run, more seedlings are likely to be killed as spring approaches, which could threatened the summer harvest. Photo taken on Feb. 5, 2009 shows a dead wheat seedling in the farmland of Taiping township of Huining County, northwest China's Gansu Province. The county has suffered from serious drought since September 2008 with about 150,667 hektares of farmland and 184,000 people and 326,000 livestocks short of water. MOA data showed more than 2.3 million mu of wheat seedlings in Henan, Anhui and Shandong provinces had perished.     This year's summer harvest became more unpredictable as Puccinia striiformis, or stripe rust, one of the most damaging wheat disease began to show signs of spreading across the nation, MOA warned.     The dangerous disease, which could cause losses up to 40 percent, has affected more than 11.3 million mu (753,000 hectares) of wheat in seven provinces, 4.6 million mu more than the same period last year. The northwestern Gansu and Ningxia saw the worst outbreak in 19 years.

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BEIJING, Feb. 27 (Xinhua) -- China lodged another stern representation to Japan on Friday over Japanese Foreign Minister Hirofumi Nakasone's remarks that the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation and Security between Japan and United States is applicable to the Diaoyu Islands.     According to the reports by the Taiwan-based Broadcasting Corporation of China (BCC), an official of the U.S. State Department, familiar with East Asian affairs, said at a press conference in Washington on Friday that the Diaoyu Islands were always under Japan's administrative jurisdiction and the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation and Security between Japan and United States was applicable to them.     Japanese Foreign Minister Hirofumi Nakasone echoed the U.S. official's remarks afterwards.     Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Ma Zhaoxu rejected Nakasone's remarks later in a press release, saying the Japan-U.S. Mutual Cooperation and Security Treaty should not harm the interests of third parties, including China.     "Any words and deeds that bring the Diaoyu Islands into the scope of the Japan-U.S. Mutual Cooperation and Security Treaty are absolutely unacceptable for the Chinese people," he said.     Ma stressed again that the Diaoyu Islands and adjacent islets had been Chinese territories since ancient times and China held "indisputable" sovereignty over the islands.     "We have lodged stern representations to Japan again and required the United States to clarify reports on the issue," he said.     He also urged the two countries to realize the great sensitivity of the Diaoyu Islands issue and proceed with discretion in word and deed, so as to avoid damage to the general interests of China-Japan and China-U.S. relations and regional stability.

BEICHUAN, Sichuan province, April 4 (Xinhua) -- Tears fell down her cheeks, like the rain dropping on her umbrella.     "I dreamed of my granddaughter several times," Tan Yunlan said while sobbing.     Supported by her daughter, the elderly woman gazed at a pile of rubble which used to be an apartment building in the former Beichuan county seat.     Tan's son-in-law arranged several bricks to burn incense, while her daughter took out a folded handkerchief from her bag. She opened it and placed the photo of a four-year-old girl inside, then gently placed it on the ground.     Behind the family, people walked slowly in twos and threes, holding candles or white chrysanthemums. Firecrackers would sound sporadically.     As Saturday was China's traditional Tomb Sweeping Day, survivors of the quake-leveled county returned to what's left of their homes to mourn loved ones.     GRIEF IN QUAKE ZONES     More than 80,000 people were confirmed dead or missing after the May 12, 2008 earthquake in southwest China's Sichuan province.     One of the worst-hit areas, 15,645 people were killed in Beichuan. Another 4,311 others remain missing. Because of the destruction, the county has been closed-off since May 20 last year. For the first time since then, former residents were allowed to return for four days of mourning starting Wednesday.     Life forever changed for Zhu Xiuhua after her husband was buried under the county's vegetable market.     "He was considerate and diligent, earning 3,000 yuan a month to support the family," she murmured, eyes swollen.     After the quake, Zhu became the family provider, taking care of her parents-in-law and two sons. Although the local government gave her some subsidy, she now has to work at construction sites like a man.     Facing the debris of the market, she drew a circle on the ground with a stick and wrote the name of her husband.     "There were too many people who died in the quake. I am afraid he can't find the money I gave him," she wept.     Zhu then lit a candle and placed it alongside the pork she had cooked and set by the debris. Pork, was her husband's favorite food. She then burned ghost money- one sheet after another, as an offering to help the dead in afterlife.     "Don't worry about us. We can manage it," she whispered to him.     In Qingchuan county, flower seller He Xiantong brought a bunch of chrysanthemums to an earthquake memorial park in Donghekou.     "Somewhere in the county, 40 meters underground, lies my wife," he said. "I feel that we are so close."     At the same time, their son, He Kaiyuan, who is in Chengdu, less than 300 kilometers away, stands facing Qingchuan. He also bought flowers for his mother and placed them on the ground.     "Dad visits mom every day," he said. "Mom, dad is with you. You must be happy in heaven."     In front of the tomb of Tan Qianqiu in Deyang city, just north of Chengdu, many strangers stopped to mourn.     The teacher, from the Dongqi middle school, sheltered four students with his arms when the quake jolted the building. When rescuers arrived, they discovered Tan had died, but the students all survived.     Huang Jing, a girl who was from Hunan province, dedicated a bouquet to Tan.     "He is also a native of Hunan," she said. "Although he didn't know me, I brought him greetings from his hometown."     MOURNING FROM ELSEWHERE     In Fuzhou, capital of east China's Fujian province- some 2,000 kilometers away from the quake's epicenter- a ceremony was held for people to mourn victims.     In front of more than 100 people, two girls tied letters they had written to deceased relatives, to the legs of pigeons, then let them go.     "Dear little sister, how are you in heaven?" wrote 16-year-old Dong Yu.     "Does it still hurt? How are uncle and aunt?" her letter went on to say. Her cousin was just eight months younger than her.     "Mom still weeps sometimes, but there are so many people from Sichuan in heaven, you won't be lonely."     Together with 33 other students from Sichuan, Dong was sent to a vocational school in Fuzhou after the disaster.     "I am doing well here," she read, smiling, with tears.     People also chose to mourn the dead on the Internet.     "Chen Jian, I'm Xiaofeng. How are you in heaven?" This message was from Chen's wife Tan Xiaofeng on the website cq.qq.com.     After the earthquake, Chen, worried about his pregnant wife. He survived 73 hours under crushed concrete and twisted steel rods. He passed away after he was pulled out of the debris.     Netizens on the portal website Sohu, list his story as among the ten most touching from the earthquake.     "I miscarried," Tan Xiaofeng wrote.     After the earthquake she moved away from her hometown and went to work in eastern Jiangsu Province.     "I will be back to sweep tombs for him later this month," she said.     The website claims to be the first online platform for visitors to mourn quake victims on Tomb Sweeping day. So far, more than 7,000 messages were left by netizens. Photos showing touching moments during the quake and its aftermath were also posted.     On Sina.com, the page for mourning showed candles forming "5.12" and a white chrysanthemum. More than 2,373,000 people had visited the site as of Saturday afternoon. Some posted their own messages for victims: "There is no disaster in heaven," and "Hope the survivors can be strong and live a better life."     LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE     Outside the barbed wire fence around the collapsed Beichuan middle school, 15-year-old Lu Chunqiao closed her eyes and held burning incense.     Four other students nearby burned a letter. In Chinese, there is a superstition that if you burn a letter, you are sending it to the dead.     The ninth grade students then knelt down, keeping their foreheads close to the ground.     They survived the quake, but more than 1,000 of their classmates were dead or missing.     "We want to tell them (the dead) the changes during this past year," Lu said. "Construction of the new school building is to start next month."     About one kilometer away from the Beichuan county seat, work rebuilding Qushan township just began.     Amid roaring machines, Liu Chunyi, an engineer from eastern Shandong province said, "it is the greatest comfort to the dead tohave those alive live a better life."     In Wenxian county of northwestern Gansu province where 114 people succumbed in the quake, Liu Wencheng placed fruit and tea for his dead wife in a graveyard.     He told her that their two daughters were doing well at school.     Liu had 0.2 hectares of land, where he planted wheat, corn and potatoes.     "Life has to go on," he said.     After the quake, the local government sent him a quilt, food and electric blankets. Each affected family was also given 20,000 yuan (almost 3,000 U.S. dollars) for reconstruction. It was not enough to build a house which is why Liu still lives in a tent. He is not sure how long he will be there.     In Sichuan, however, there is a timetable.     The province vowed to rebuild all damaged houses in rural areas by the end of this year and those in cities or townships before next May.     More than 90 percent of roads and 98 percent of the power supply system would be restored by Sept. 2010.     But it will take longer than that for wounds in people's hearts to heal.     Many people suggested Tan Xiaofeng, who is just 26, should re-marry.     The idea just makes Tan cry.     "I can't accept another man," she said while shaking her head. "Not now."